on and on...

I realized something tonight. While driving home it became brilliantly, if not slightly heartbreakingly, clear to me that I'm getting there.

In just a little over a week it will be six months since my life changed more suddenly, and more unexpectedly, than I would have cared for. Six months since God decided to smack me across the face and pull me back to something I didn't even realize I was starting to misplace: me.

Before I inch any closer to theatrics, I'll just stop myself. That is not the point of this post. The point of this post is simply to exhilarate at the feeling of returning to myself and finally feeling like my life is my life again.

When the proverbial &^*% hit the fan, one of the things my mom told me stuck more than others:

"You are about to be so much stronger than you ever thought possible."

Intellectually of course, I knew that was true (easier said than done). When it comes down to it, you basically have two options in life - kill yourself or get over it. Harsh, yes. And for the record, I do not mean to offend anyone with that statement (haven't you ever heard of shock value?). I'm just saying that I knew there was really only one option for me. "Getting over it" seemed harsh, but in its basest form, that is exactly what I needed to do.

And now, much as I want to say I'm all moved on and such, I know that's not entirely true. But I'm certainly moving on. It's happening, slowly but surely. I am on the watch. There are ways out. There is a light somewhere, and it certainly beats the darkness. The gods are offering me chances. I will continue to know them. To take them. 

My life is my life and I will know it while I have it.

I'm getting there. 

And happily so. 

smile & say it's-worth-a-wicked-sunburn-to-get-these-shots!

I'm pretty sure this defies at least one law of gravity 

The stage was set for a beautiful weekend

Slalom Boy and I earned a bit of a lounge

Who wants to go fishing?

Montana Man commands "big sky country" wherever he goes apparently.

This reminds me of this. 

Proof that I've been camping now.

Oh hey Vince, have some air while you're at it.

A few more favorite photos from last weekend. Maybe I'll give up the whole wine and writing thing and focus on water-sport photography?

(all photos by me on my trusty little canon point-and-shoot)

love is all

multnomah falls

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, 

I am a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, 

and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, 

so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,

but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not jealous or boastful or arrogant, 

nor does it act unbecomingly. It does not insist on its own way, it is not provoked, 

does not take into account a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, 

but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, 

endures all things. Love never ends.... 

And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and 

the greatest of these is love."

adventures at the lake

Need some camping gear? I might know a guy. 

Montana Man

Colorado: not just some Rocky Mountains.

Completely loving this landscape. 

Montana Man throwing Slalom Boy a line. 

Calm waters and blue skies - slalom ski perfection. 

And then it was wakeboard time...

Airborne!

I was designated Flag Girl.

Looking good, Montana!

Black and white and red tan all over.

I get it now - this is why people worship the sun. 

Thank you mirror for proving we were all there at the same time.

Oh hey, not a cool shot at all.

This weekend brought to you by Coors. 

Ah, remember life before sunburn?

See, this is why I don't work out.

Uh yep, I could spend the weekend here. 

Vince showing 'em how it's done. 

The Boys of Summer. 

Playing into the sunset. 

Yeah, because after all day in the sun and physical exertion, why NOT scale a crumbling wall of rocks?

Sunset over Lake Pueblo.

Anyone need half a tree? Because I found one. You can have it. 

Our campsite. 

I call this one "Man Feet & A Campfire".

Ooo, prickles. 

Good morning lake!

Photographic ego boost. 

Montana & California relaxing in Colorado... Geography has never been my strong point.

SPF: Supremely Pale Female (this is what happens when you think it's a good idea to start with SPF 6)

Thanks to Vince and John for taking this indoor kid outside, throwing her in a lake and giving her a chance to take some incredible photos! Oh, and for feeding me chili and beer. And whiskey.

albino lasagna (take your lactaid now)

I'm pretty sure I mentioned making lasagna for The Camaraderie the other night. If I didn't... Well... I made lasagna the other night. And not to toot my own horn (though for the record, horn-tooting can be fun) but it was glorious. There were three jars of alfredo sauce, two pounds of bacon, a pound of ground turkey, three bags of shredded cheeses, ricotta cheese, cream cheese, sour-cream-and-spinach dip, mushrooms, more cheese, spinach and a disproportionate amount of minced garlic. 

This is by no means the be all, end all of lasagna cooking guides. It's actually my opinion that there are as many ways to make lasagna as there are tummies to fill. That being said, this is simply a (very rough) guide to one of my favorite meals to make and share.

And it had my friends eating themselves into oblivion which is the single best compliment I could ask for. 

Thanks for being my food test-audience guys! 

**DISCLAIMER: vegetarians, vegans, lactose-intolerants, gluten-frees, calorie-counters, carb-watchers, picky eaters and Emily Post fanatics... Just navigate away from this page now**

Start with your ingredients (I can highly recommend Trader Joe's for EVERYTHING)!

TJ's pan rusitco (I think that was the kind of bread?) makes GREAT garlic bread.

Smother anything in enough butter, garlic and parmesan cheese and you're going to be happy. 

Oh, this is essential to a well-made lasagna. 

I added Artichoke Antipasto to the alfredo sauce (smart idea, no?) - let it all simmer on low heat while everything else cooks.

Bacon: pound #1. I suggest baking your bacon (wow, that sounds dirty) on a cookie sheet for even, perfect cooking.

Chop your mushrooms as you see fit (this sounds dirty too).

Sauté with garlic, black pepper and some white wine (or beer) and add to sauce. 

Brown up the turkey and throw it on in there so it can cozy up to the mushrooms (FLAVOR!)

More garlic... Always more garlic... Just a good rule of thumb.

OK, when opening bag of spinach, do as I say not as I do (i.e. throwing it all over the kitchen) (no one is surprised by this).

Do this instead! Cook it down in some olive oil & minced garlic.

No, you're seeing it correctly: mix together the ricotta, cream cheese & sour cream-spinach dip.

Add the hot spinach-garlic goodness and mix well.

Bacon: pound #2. More bacon (also a good rule). This pound was labeled "Bacon Ends & Pieces"... For the record, bacon is the only circumstance where the phrase "ends & pieces" is acceptable in life. Just trust me on this one.

Self-explanatory. 

Look how happy everything looks swimming in alfredo! Is it wrong for this to be a fantasy of mine?

Time to build! Spoon out a layer of sauce. 

PREPARE THE CHEESE. 

Keep a Dani around to taste-test (crucial to the whole process)

Layer it up (note: I LOVE the TJ's no-bake lasagna noodles) with the ricotta/spinach mixture.

There is really no rhyme of reason to the layering method, just do what feels right (I do it differently every time). 

A bowl of cheese I could practically recline in - this is how you know you're living life right. 

More wine (actually the same glass as before, I'm not really that much of a lush). 

Bake at 350 or so until it looks like this.

Make sure Shamoo looks on approvingly. 

Happy plate. 

What happens when Dean says he doesn't even want to put hot sauce on it.

The true test of a good meal: if Jared ends up inverted, barely conscious and/or with his pant legs rolled up (he was wearing shorts though so we skipped that part).

(Sorry for the language... Inside joke)

Go forth and be gluttonous.