how did natural selection miss this one?

Ladies & gentlemen, for your daily ego boost, I bring you 

"The Idiot Call Of The Day"

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::ring, ring::

Me: Hello, thank you for calling, how may I help you?

Darwin's Nightmare Of A Human Being: Yeah, hi, I just have a few questions about your 2010 Oregon Pinot Gris?

(yes, a question mark, her voice went up at the end)

Me: Sure, what can I help you with?

Darwin Girl: So first of all, what varietal is it?

Me: ........

Darwin Girl: .......

Me: It's pinot gris.

Darwin Girl: (with absolutely no sense of shame) OK great and where was that grown?

Me: ......

Darwin Girl: (presumably places the metal helmet back on the monkey she borrowed it from and flips the switch)

Me: Oregon.

Darwin Girl: Awesome. And then what's the alcohol content on that?

Me: (smashes bottle of 2010 Oregon Pinot Gris against forehead) 13%.

Darwin Girl: .........

Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Darwin Girl: Nope, that was all I needed! Thank you!

::hangs up::

Me: Sometimes I hate everyone.

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*I didn't actually smash a bottle into my head - I just wish I had*

recipe | coconut shrimp risotto

Finally, a recipe I didn't lose time with by photographing ad nauseam. 

(we'll pause here while you pick your jaws up off the ground)

This is however, not the first time you've heard the word "risotto" slip from my buttered, carbohydrate-laden mouth.

Bear with me.

You see, we have a program at work where the staff (read: the handful of us who get ourselves all in a tizzy over food and wine pairings) can bring in a recipe to go with our monthly featured wines and I finally got my bum in gear to write down a new one to go with one of our pinot blancs.

Now granted, I never make risotto from a recipe so this is my "best guess" write-up therefore numbers are approximate and there is room for improvement all over the place - so have fun with it!

Enjoy!

Coconut Shrimp Risotto

Serves about 4

1 lb. cooked, frozen shrimp

3 tbsp. butter, divided

1/2 c onion, diced

4-6 clove garlic, minced

1 tbsp dried basil

1 1/2 c arborio rice

1 c 2010 Quail Run Pinot Blanc, though any crisp white wine would do (room temperature)

2 c chicken broth, divided 

1 c light coconut milk

dash of cayenne pepper

salt & pepper to taste

(plus more of desired liquid if needed)

In a medium skillet, melt 1 tbsp. butter over medium heat. Add frozen shrimp, cover and cook until heated throughout, stirring occasionally. As needed, drain excess liquid from pan. When shrimp is almost "done" season with a bit of salt & pepper. Set shrimp aside and keep warm.

In a large pot melt 2 tbsp. butter over medium-high heat. Sauté onion until translucent. Add garlic, cook about 1 minute. Add rice and "toast" by stirring until rice is slightly translucent. 

Add 1c chicken broth and stir constantly. When liquid is almost absorbed, add in 1c wine. Continue stirring until nearly absorbed. Repeat process with remaining cup of broth and coconut milk. Check rice for doneness (should be soft, but not gummy).  If rice is not cooked through yet, add another half cup of any of the liquids, depending on your preference.

When rice is done the texture should be soft and creamy. Add in shrimp and dried basil. Stir until well-combined. 

Season with salt & pepper to taste. 

Serve with sauteed green beans & 2010 Quail Run Pinot Blanc

a soldier's deck of cards

This is pretty cool. 

toast our troops

In light of Memorial Day I wanted to take a minute to talk about the new non-profit my dad started.

My dad has been in the wine industry for more than half his life. He has worked it from many angles but none so admirably than from the standpoint of Toasting Our Troops which invites wineries across the country to open their doors and honor the men and women of our Armed Forces with something as simple as a wine tasting on the house!

Having grown up in the wine industry, and now working in it myself, I am proud to work for a winery that humbly honors our nation's troops in even the smallest of ways. What we aim to do is let these men and women in uniform know that the least we can do is pour them a glass of great wine as a small token of our gratitude.

If you work for a winery and want more information, or have any questions, please feel free to email me: lauren.mortonfarmer@gmail.com or my dad Scott Farmer: privatepreserve86@gmail.com 

Once again, THANK YOU to all of our military men & women for all you have done (and continue to do) for our coutnry! 

(photo by Jared when he was out on fire last summer)

weekly gratitude, memorial day edition

thank you Brinks for keeping my toes warm while I took your picture

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John Mark had a proposition for us yesterday morning:

Ride your bike to church, get prime seating right up front, no matter how late you are (not that you're ever late).

There was only one stipulation:

"Please - go easy on the spandex."

And then I dissolved into a silent giggle fit and made the people around me nervous.

BUT - and this is the impressive part - I did not spill my coffee!

Boom.

A successful Sunday morning.

Can I say the same for the coffee I drank in the car on the way to work this morning?

Not quite.

But I wore my leather skirt today so the coffee rolled right off like water on a duck's back.

So... still BOOM.

Meanwhile, Happy Memorial Day to everyone! And with that...

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1. Thank you to all the troops, the wives, the husbands, the children, the parents, the siblings, the aunts & uncles, the friends and everyone who has sacrificed so much, if not everything, so that I can continue living safely in the country I call home. Words will never be able to touch the incredible gratitude I wish I could express to all of you, whether on the front lines of war or holding down the fort at home. Whether supporting our soldiers with letters & care packages, kissing children goodnight as you remind them how much their mom/dad loves them even from so far away, praying for courage and the safety of people you may not even know, saluting the warriors as they pass by at an airport, or heaving a sigh of relief alongside your brother in arms as you return from another successful mission, one day closer to home... Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

2. Thank you for mail. Of course here I mean that I'm thankful for mail only in that it is the byproduct of friendship because I got a card in the mail from Brigette and it made my day. I love that I found a forever friend that lives by the same verdict that a handwritten note should not be a lost art. Just a simple piece of mail with the return address from "The Little One" that reminds me I'm loved all the way from here to there.

 3. Thank you for fellowship. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing about only slightly varied versions of the same thing every week, or the same people every week, but hey - if I can be grateful for the same things consistently, I figure that in itself is pretty amazing. Anyway, once again I am grateful for time spent exalting God with my dear sweet Mari. We ended up splitting a bottle of rose (again) last night at Red Hills Market and as usual, our conversation drifted into what the Lord's been up to in our lives lately. As we spoke and sipped there just seemed to be a tangible lift in spirits. At one point Mari just smiled and said how much she had needed this, this sweet little fellowship in the corner of our favorite hangout. It always seems to work out that way. And for that I am always grateful.

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So there it is. Short and sweet.

I'm working on a new recipe this week so stay tuned for another installment of "What Will Lauren Do With Cheese + Wine This Week?"

Happy Memorial Day all!

gorging ourselves

A few weeks ago, as the weather was just beginning to lighten up, Jared and I found ourselves with a day off from work so we decided to drive up through the Columbia River Gorge.

I'm working on collecting shots of the various Oregon landscapes for the big empty wall in his living room and looking at these I'm pretty excited to have some images to start with. I still have some further edits to get the look he's going for, but here are a few others that turned out pretty nifty!

(sidenote: Jared, though used to me sticking a camera in his face at this point, is never fond of having his picture taken - he said the photos of him looked "posed" but not a one of them is - except the one of both of us. That'll teach him to be photogenic)

a very belated easter

cheddar & jalapeno scones

homemade berry jam

homemade jalapeno honey butter

brunch-making necessity

scramble magic

blueberry scone

Dean's only appearance for the day

my yellow "easter pants"

So first of all, these are woefully late in getting posted. Whatever. It just gives me a reason to look at all the scones I made and want to make them again because it's been just long enough for me to not remember how I destroyed my little kitchen in the process. 

And second of all, I had a bunch more pictures from this day of Frankie, Matty, Robin and Amber but they were all blurtastic because I was screwing around with different settings on my camera that day. And now I regret that. 

Lesson learned?

Don't deviate from what you know if you ever want to capture memories.

this week...

... I'm mostly hanging out with these guys.

And gals.