pestering the boy

After knowing my dear, sweet Blake for over five years years, I’ve realized there is no one on earth who is easier (or more fun) to aggravate. It's kind of like bothering a cat when they're trying to sleep in the sun so that they growl and hiss and then go back to sleep.

That being said, this list is just the tip of a rather formidable iceberg. We’ll start with 50, just to get things rolling. 

In truth, it’s infinite, but we only have a short time here and...Uh... Yep, I see they’re giving me the light so I should get on with it. Thanks for coming out, it’s been real, I'll be here all week. Try the veal. What? No, I am not a proponent for politically incorrect meat, it's just that... And I really don’t appreciate the insinuation! Yeah? Well same to you, Bucko! How dare you! Hey, no! Put that chair down…

50 Ways To Irritate Blake

*Things learned firsthand

1. Saying something stupid*

2. Using the word “little” in the same sentence you mention him*

3. Hand him a penny*

4. Loose buttons… Anywhere near him*

5. Ask him the same question repeatedly*

6. Badger him in any way*

7. Insult him

8. Be taller than him

9. Ignore him*

10. Put him in the same room as a cat*

11. Quote movies he hasn’t seen yet*

12. Olives*

13. Trick him into drinking coffee

14. Spell things wrong*

15. Use bad grammar

16. Be an idiot*

17. Be inconsiderate

18. Sleep when he’s not sleepy*

19. Overstay your welcome

20. Move when he’s sleeping/cuddling with you and he's already comfortable*

21. Excessive promiscuity

22. Throw things at him from across the table*

23. Attack him in the pool during a water fight*

24. Run out of whiskey and/or Dr. Pepper

25. Like cats*

26. Dislike huskies

27. Disagree with him on various things*

28. Have no class

29. Go to Eaton

30. Go to Oxford

31. Be unattractive

32. Be gross

33. Make him wait*

34. Make things more complicated than they need to be*

35. Waste his time*

36. Talk down to him for any reason

37. Be disgusting

38. Be a blond bimbo/idiot/slag/etc.

39. Dislike Disney movies

40. Dislike comic books

41. Be his old Italian professor

42. Make him watch a movie he doesn’t like*

43. Quote a movie as it plays*

44. Disloyalty 

45. Swearing, if you’re a girl*

46. Put trash in his car because he leaves the doors unlocked and how else is he going to learn?*

47. Write on his car with dry-erase markers*

48. Act like an idiot while drunk

49. Anything to do with his big toes*

50. Hang out with someone he doesn’t like*

Oh, and...

51. Move to Oregon*