weekly gratitude

thank you black boots for protecting me from crawling vines and 40 degree days. 

Harvest is done and the temperature is dropping. It must be November. 

If it has dared above 50 degrees this week, I haven't noticed (this isn't to say it hasn't, I literally mean I have not noticed because my rental car doesn't have a temp gauge and the only inkling I get of Portland weather is passing a car dealership on my way to work early in the morning and later in the evening when the sun is neither at its highest nor warmest - alas...)

Meanwhile though...

1. Thank you Dad and Maw Maw (Grandma Farmer) for everything you have done in helping me rally with this whole car debacle. I will be sad to see the little ol' Benz die but I'm pretty excited and beyond thankful for all the help in finding a new mode of transportation. I seriously don't know what I would have done without you guys (probably hitch up a hijacked llama and search Craigslist for a used western-style saddle) (I'll be damned if I have to deal with an english saddle again - eesh, flashbacks to equestrian classes in London and holding onto the horse for the dear, sweet, fragile life flashing before my eyes).

2. Thank you friends who listen; friends I can vent at/to out of nowhere, when I am being ridiculous and just need to bounce a little crazy off someone. Friends who will let you take your insecurities, your worries, your anger and your tears, throw them in a blender, add in some worst-case scenarios and impossible hypotheticals before pouring it out over the coffee table? Those are some friends worth thanking your damn lucky stars for. 

3. Thank you for meeting new people who, by the end of the night, are raising a glass of wine with you and toasting to that crazy love John Lennon was singing about. On that note, thank you Mari for being born so all of your friends could meet each other at your party and have the kind of conversation that renews faith in humanity. 

4. Thank you Jesus for smacking me upside the head when I need it (in a loving way, of course). The sermon this morning at church  should have been titled "Lauren, pay attention!" (and maybe it was, I couldn't see Jose's notes). Solid Rock and its group of teachers has a way of catching me off guard with the eerie way I always seem to hear exactly what I need to hear when I need it most. This morning was focused on Matthew (5:21-22 to be exact) and how we must release ourselves and, more importantly others, from the anger that brews in our hearts. The deep, stewing, acidic, vile anger that destroys a soul. I've been letting something gnaw and chew through my happiness lately - and what good is that doing anyone? Quick answer: absolutely nothing. And so I am grateful for the opportunity to confront that anger and begin to work toward letting it go.

5. Thank you for these words: "Don't worry." If the person who lays claim to those words reads this, I hear you and I am working hard to do this. To trust you and have faith in something bigger than the things I worry about. Thank you for your patience and knowing that I am more than my worry, more than my insecurities and for, I hope, loving me anyway.

Well kiddos, it's the start of another week. We're beginning to move into our Winter hours at work and this week has landed me four consecutive days off (can you hear my feet doing a tap dance on the hardwood floors? Oh hell, I hope my landlords aren't asleep already...)

I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself. 

Probably just hunker down and brace myself for Thanksgiving weekend in wine country.

(and the massive poultry hangover I'll be nursing after The Camaraderie comes out of our collective food coma)