indoor kid with an outdoor voice

*preface: this post has absolutely no train of thought but it's a nice reprieve from sorting laundry*

1. The list above is from McSweeney's and it is tremendously entertaining. 

2. My morning dilemma (dilemma here meaning major first world problems) makes me realize I am definitely a Pacific Northwesterner: apparently I didn't grind enough coffee beans resulting in weak coffee (oh, the horror!) which led to me rifling through my fridge in search of kombucha which I eventually found hiding behind a half-eaten can of baby corn and a tub of hummus. So now I'm drinking weak coffee. And kombucha. The baby corn is still in the fridge (waiting until lunch time). 

3. I came to the realization that my reaction to watching Teen Mom 2 is akin to that of men watching sports when their team does something stupid. I yell at the TV, I try to offer helpful advice but they never listen! My heart goes out to these girls, and it seems like a few of them are actually doing the best job they can, but there's one in particular that I desperately want to shake and smack across the face. Guess what honey, going out on Saturday nights and drinking and getting high with your friends does not make you a good mother (nor does wearing your Lady Gaga "Free Bitch" rubber bracelet to a meeting with your college counselor)! I may not have children, but I sure as hell know when I do I will sacrifice everything I can to ensure their lives are everything they deserve. It blows my mind how these girls still think they deserve all of the same liberties they had pre-baby. Oy. 

4. Oh, and there is a baby daddy on the show too that I want to absolutely flay (::cough:: Adam ::cough::)

5.  Seriously, this coffee is pathetic.

6. Is it so wrong to want to be friends with The Pioneer Woman? That gal makes me want to cook nothing but meaty, buttery meals for cowboys for the rest of my life (I'm painfully domestic in case you hadn't noticed). Chicken fried steak? Whiskey BBQ sliders? Cheesy bacon grits and pork tenderloin?! My new goal in life is to cook a meal with her and take pictures of it then write a quippy account of the evening for our adoring fans.

(reality has no place in my world)

7. Remember when it was all snowy and beautiful? Now it's rainy and while still beautiful, it's not snow. Boo. 

8. Go here and thank me later. 

9.  The definite downside of living in the Land of the Evergreens is pine needles. Everywhere. All over my apartment. Couple that with the sensational amount of hair I shed and my vacuum definitely gets more regular workouts than I do. I'm not sure how I feel about this but I'm proud to report that my vacuum's mile time is improving significantly. 

10. Oh good golly, watch this.