Dave and Andrea decided on a photobooth for their reception...
How could this in any way have been a smart idea?
Oh... That's how.
We're so sorry.
top to bottom: Jeff, Jared & Kris (cousins - making their mamas proud)... Jared, Forrest, Alyssa, Andrea, Dakota & Terra (siblings - those are some powerful genes they've got going for them)... Terra, the occasional Andrea & me (girls - just wanna have a reason to act a fool)... yours truly & the wandering fireman (we have no excuse)
thank you weary traveling toes for keeping up with a two year-old with no concept of "slow down"
Is it really Monday already?
(and do I really have to be at work and pretend to be a functioning adult tomorrow?)
Last night was the first night since I got to Indiana that I slept more than 5 hours (also marking the first time I've slept that long in over a week) and it was glorious. I ended up staying with the "little kids" (what Jared, Andrea and Alyssa still find themselves referring to Dakota, Terra and Forrest as even though a) they're all between 17-20 and b) two of them are taller than any of the other siblings) and tucked into a cozy bed in the basement where I felt like I was in a happy little tomb of fluffy pillows and warm blankets, blissfully unaware of any living creature or sunlight until nine o'clock this morning. Terra asked me if I heard her go to bed around four (poor girl was up late studying) or if her alarm woke me this morning.
Nope and nope.
Out like a damn light.
After 4 days of running around like some little fool, reaffirming what I already knew to be true (that is, what Jason Aldean has been singing about), and squeezing in as many drive-by "hello/goodbyes" as I could manage (but still wishing there was more time for more people), I'm ready to sit still for a minute.
From what I gather though, that's how you know you've done Fort Wayne right.
_
1. Thank you for Andrea and Dave! The newly minted husband and wife of the year! I will be forever grateful to them for trusting me with something as special as their wedding photos and for letting me be part of their special day. Not only did they let me help piece together the many details of the wedding, but they made sure I also got to be a proper guest as well. That meant so much I can't even tell you. I am so thankful for them and all they have fought for to make for their family the life they deserve. Dave and Andrea, you guys are amazing and I am so thrilled for you I could bust! Congratulations and so much love to you again and again and again!!!
2. Thank you for Kamdyn! Yes, this little dude gets his own note of gratitude. Thank you for giving me the chance to see this sweet boy grow up into the little stud he is. My heart grew and nearly burst every morning seeing that sleepy little man slowly emerge from that dreamy world of his and into the running, jumping, loving, squealing kiddo. He about destroyed my heart when, while playing blocks as Andrea got her hair done by her baby sister for her wedding, Kamdyn took a running leap at me where I sat on the floor, tackling me and placing his little hands on either side of my face to plant a big, wet, slobbery baby kiss on me. It's amazing how much I love that kid, though I've only spent a handful of days with him in his life. I miss him already.
3. Thank you for Terra. The youngest sister in the bunch, this girl just makes my heart overflow. She is the sweetest, more compassionate, level-headed, smart and wonderful girl I think I've ever met. Talking with her just make you want to alternate between a smile from ear to ear and utter tears at knowing there is such a good soul alive in the world today. Her heart is as beautiful as her smile, and her eyes dance just like all of her siblings that I love so much. This one's going to do amazing things in the world, mark my words.
4. Thank you for Jessi and Gospel Community! These interwebs, our little village of love and camaraderie, encouragement and support, is truly spectacular, you know that? So here I was, headed for Fort Wayne, Indiana thinking what a bummer it was that with this trip being at the end of September there was no way I could ever swing coming back in October for Influence. But then a radical thought occurred to me: what if I could visit Jessi's church? So that's exactly what I did. First of all, let's talk about this church... They are amazing! I felt like I was walking into a branch of Solid Rock. I must have stuck out as a "newbie" because everyone I talked to made sure I knew my way around and had a cup of hot coffee in my hand. A sweet kid named Sam asked me how I'd heard about GC and immediately set off to find Jessi. As the service started, I stood and sang feeling such warmth from the people all around me. When we broke from worship to say hello to those around us, up came this adorable little gal with a perfect blogger top-knot and a huge smile. She wrapped me in a huge hug and treated me like a long-lost friend she hadn't seen in years. She had her sweet Glory girl with her so while they went a grabbed a cookie she told me to go prop up with them a few rows ahead of where I was. After the service (which was incredible, by the way) I met a whole slew of other folks and talked with Jessi about what a wonderfully peculiar world blogging is and how incredible it is when it beings us all together in the most unexpected ways (also learned all about how old Benja and Elias are from Glory who was such a little trooper, sniffling her way through telling me how old she and her brothers were). Guys - this lady is the real deal. I am genuinely honored to have met her and feel so blessed to have met the people I did last night. As I was leaving I told her how much her blog and her faith have meant to me over the last year and a half and right when I thought I was going to start crying right there she pulled me in for another hug and "I just love you sweet girl, I'm so happy you're here!" Oh, it meant the world. Thank you, Jessi! You are such an inspiration and a blessing!
5. Thank you for Moshboy and Katie! Before I left today I grabbed a quick coffee with these two and it was just the capper to the trip I needed. Katie was there when I arrived (which according to her was the first time she's been early for anything) and when we spotted our furry friend outside I decided the only course of action was to attack him before he noticed me which worked out beautifully - I scared the daylights out of him and I can rest happily knowing I win. We sat for over an hour talking about all of our friends, reminiscing about all the hijinks they used to get up to and laughing loud enough to make everyone around us either uncomfortable or jealous. Not sure which. Either way, we took it for a win. Oh, and then Moshboy and I did this. For which we're not sorry.
6. Thank you for this whole weekend! Shoot, this list could go on and on and I'd eventually run out of memory (or ya'll would get tired of scrolling and navigate to another more succinct blog). Seeing the people who I have come to love as the family they are was just what my heart needed. I'm exhausted and sore but so, so happy. Thank you, all of you, for loving me so much.
_
So with that, and with this beer I've been nursing while I wait for my flight (no one is surprised that I made sure to get to the airport waaay to early), I bid you adieu from the great state of Indiana.
It's going to be a fast and furious flight home (which I can only hope I konk out for entirely) and then it's back to the madness awaiting me in Portland.
I only took 2,600 photos while I was here so I should have those up in no time.
If I'm a bit absent from the blog here it's because I've fallen into a coma and will be right back after these messages.
Remember that time I saw Jack as a full-blown 14 month old when the last time I had seen him he was but six small weeks?
Well let me tell you about the time I saw Kamdyn in all his two year old glory after having not seen him since he was 3 months old.
BIG CHANGE.
The tiny cooing baby I've had in my mind for the last two years is now a bounding toddler running around with Thomas the Tank Engine saying "Bay choo-choo! Baby choo-choooooo!" and jumping from ottoman to sofa with a resounding "Rrrrriiiiibbbbittttt!" as he faceplants into the cushions where he proceeds to giggle like a little fool until another wind picks him up to do it again.
And again and again and again and again.
I ask you, where does one find the stamina of a two year old?
(probably somewhere between my three hours of sleep and the drive from Indianapolis to Fort Wayne, that's where)
All that aside, things here are hustlin' with Andrea and Dave's wedding in about 7 hours (!!!!!!!) and now that I've had a reasonable night's sleep or two (and as soon as I can track down a cup of coffee the size of Indiana) we'll be in high gear.
Even with the sleep deprivation I had a hard time falling asleep the past couple nights. It was so intensely wonderful to see Andrea and Dave and Kamdyn and Sue and Alyssa (and to meet Luke, Alyssa's husband!) and Terra and Forrest and Dakota and Tom and the grandparents…
( sidenote: Jenn is teaching me to talk like a proper southerner)
In less than 9.5 hours I will be 30,000 feet above headed straight for Indiana.
(Straight here meaning almost-but-not-quite-because-I've-got-that-pesky-layover-in-Denver)
Andrea & Dave are getting married in TWO DAYS!
This is blowing my mind.
I'm so excited.
Fort Wayne, brace yourself.
_
On another note, my computer is coming with me this time so I'll try to be ever-diligent with random postings here and there. Yes. Ever-diligent. Random postings. You see what I did there. That's all you can hope for.
It's probably going to be a lot of pictures of Kamdyn.
For some reason, it's quarter after two in the morning and I'm no closer to sleep than I was when I snuggled into bed an hour ago.
(I'll pretend this has nothing to do with the fact that I fell asleep on the couch around eight o'clock for about four hours)
Yesterday (Sunday) was a long, busy day. But a wonderful day. God had some careful reminders for me throughout the hours and kept my heart weighted, but not heavy.
Here's what I mean...
It's not that I walked around feeling pressed for something, like there was some burden on me. It was more the weight of realization about things that I can only liken to that feeling of holding something heavy, yes, but knowing it's nothing you can't handle.
Like when you pick up a box and think, "Shoot, what is IN this? Can I get a hand?" but after readjusting your grip a little you then think, "Actually, no, you know what? I got this. It was just a little cumbersome until I found a better way to hold it."
I've been remembering something my favorite religion professor told me once when I was living in London.
Dr. Rushford told a story of a man who was at his wit's end and with no where else to go, he decided to go into a church. As he walked in he saw, written above the door, a simple phrase:
Lay down your burden.
At that he felt himself lighten, knowing Someone was there to take that load from him - to free him from the trouble that was burying him.
In the church he asked God to help him and be with him and carry him through this. He felt relief for the first time in a long time.
When he finished praying, feeling healed in so many ways, he turned and went to leave that church with a rejuvenated spirit.
And on the way out, he noticed a simple phrase above the other side of that door:
Now take up your cross.
_
I always loved that story.
God is always there for us. He is always there with a hand outstretched, waiting for us to lean on Him because He knows what we often don't: we need Him.
He knew the minute I was born that sure, I'd have the ability to take care of myself, get through the days, probably do a reasonable job at this whole life thing...
But He knew, more importantly, that my life could be a whole lot more if I let Him guide me to a bigger picture; a bigger picture that I can't see for the life of me, but that He's been working the whole time.
Today He reminded me that when my heart gets heavy I can lay it down before Him. He reminded me that's what He's there for - to listen to my prayers when I need help carrying something.
But that with that, I must be willing to take up the task He's set before me. He reminded me that I had to play a part in this relationship too, and that this was a team effort not to be taken for granted.
_
I met a woman at work today who said something profound to me.
"As human beings, we are designed for nothing more than eternal hope."
And so as I took a moment to savor these last days of Indian Summer here in Oregon, I thanked Him for all He has given, all He has taken away, and all He has in store.
Because I've got a sneaking suspicion that the bigger picture He sees is pretty stunning.
thank you to the last of summer for allowing at least one more day of peep-toes
It's not quite there yet - there's still a fair amount of heat (enough, at least, to merit a few more wears out of my cut-offs) but I can hear it in the trees and smell it in the air...
Those first few whispers of dry leaves, a subtle burning as fireplaces light up for the first time this season... It's that scent.
You know what I'm talking about.
Dean and Robin and I sat outside this morning savoring it, mulling over the breakfast we'd just enjoyed as I watched the waitress tip one more stream of hot, black coffee into my cup.
Four cups later I got my day started.
Today was my first proper day off in over a week - proper in that I had nothing I really needed to do (freedom!) but things that could stand to be done nonetheless. I'd actually been looking forward to it all week.
My apartment in dire need of cleaning, I made a promise to at least start on it today. But not before I took a drive. With the windows down. Blaring music. Singing the whole way with the wind whipping by.
I landed at IKEA.
My little tree fort of an apartment, I had decided, needed some sprucing. So I gave into the nesting instinct I tend harbor each time the seasons change and indulged in a few linens and spectacular little basket to clean up the heinous mish-mash of crap under my coffee table.
The only thing I am still in desperate need of?
A new slipcover for my couch (I'd love to say "a new couch" but getting this 8 foot beast into the place was hellacious enough - it ain't goin' nowhere until I move someday). Ideally I'd love something bright and neutral (instead of the deep olive it is now) but really, who do I think I am?
Someone who doesn't spill things, apparently.
Maybe I should rethink my color scheme...
_
1. Thank you for dinners! Two nights - read that two nights - in a row someone made dinner for me! Monday afternoon I got a text from Shamoo. More was said but I think I blacked out with anticipation after the words "stir fry". Have I mentioned that Shamoo's specialty is stir fry? He's been taunting me with pictures of his newly-minted cooking skills over the past couple months and I was tickled to finally experience the magic. The verdict? We've got a chef, ladies and gentlemen! Chicken, snow peas, carrots, onions, mushrooms, broccoli and spicy teriyaki? I accept. Then last night I went over to Dean and Robin's to celebrate Robin's freedom from retail hell (and an ever-closer start date for her first semester at PSU!) and lucked out once again when Dean made me spicy penne with garlic bread! These boys, I tell ya... They're too good to me.
2. Thank you Emerson and Joy Eggerichs! The brilliant father and daughter behind Love + Respect andLove + Respect (Now)respectively (ha, didn't even try to do that) came to Solid Rock Friday night to film a little something for a new project they're working on. It was incredible. I had raced to get there after work and was lucky enough to find a seat in the very last row (the perks of being a single). Nearly five hours later I was one of the few remaining (fair enough - it was nearing midnight on a Friday nightI) as we all stood and sang "I Saw The Light" with such joy and such hope... It was surreal. The point of it was to have a conversation about love and relationships and marriage and God. Isn't it funny to think how easily people give up on one or all of those things without figuring out why, or working on things? These were just a couple of the questions posed - and answered - by Emerson and Joy. What was equally amazing was the hundreds and hundreds of people 18-35 who showed up for this event. A whole generation of people determined to do the hard work now so that we don't become a generation known for taking the easy way out when things get hard in a relationship. A whole generation fueled with hope and love and forgiveness and respect. Here's a little snippet from the evening:
3. Thank you for all the sweetness on my birthday! I was overwhelmed. Between the messages, texts, calls and tweets I was giddy with love all day. And then I was bowled over even more when I got treats in the mail from my two once-bloggy-bff's-but-now-just-real-life-loves Kate and Jenn! How I got so blessed to get these two in my life I'll never know, but I'm not going to over think it. Which brings me to...
4. Thank you for Jenn and Kate! Jenn put it best in a recent note (Jenn - I hope you don't mind me sharing it!): "Is it weird to miss someone you've never even met?!?!?!" Absolutely not. These girls are the kindred souls I never would have met had it not been for our little village in this corner of the interwebs (or maybe I would have - God's pretty crafty like that, so it wouldn't have surprised me!). But truly, they are two of the best friends I have never met and I get positively stupid thinking about our eventual blate and the indecent amounts of cheese we will eat at said time. Thank you girls for your honest love and friendship!
5. Thank you for a dad who ends emails with things like this:
"So...yet another day in paradise, or is it "pair of dice" for those who feel lucky..."Well, do ya punk...do ya feel lucky"? I appreciate Clint Eastwood."
_
So somehow it's come down to the one week mark before I leave for Fort Wayne...
Not freaking out at all.
#sarcasmtest
But really, I am on the edge of my seat with excitement and about to buzz right out of my skin!
Andrea's getting married! I get to see Kamdyn (all two years of him!)! Jared's grandma will ask us all repeatedly if we want half a banana! I will continue to not understand euchre but Lord knows I'll hyperventilate trying to!
I won't pretend the conversations we have are always appropriate.
Nor will I alude to them being even remotely tame.
I will say however that when you have three people with birthdays all falling within a week of one another, in September(month nine - you do the math) the propensity for the conversation to take a nosedive in the tact department is extremely high.
Let's just say, for the sake of reserving some class on this blog, that more than one joke was made about our parents having either a very Merry Christmas or a New Year's Rockin' Eve.
Thankfully my parents got off easy in this conversation.
Shamoo's dad was given a hearty "Atta boy!" from Dean (that's putting it nicely... I'm too much of a lady - and love Shamoo's mom too much - to write what he really said) and I don't think Michull's mom would love that we all know her ginger baby's birth story in the detail that we do.
Having said all that...
We know how to celebrate birthdays 'round these parts.
On this occasion, it was Shamoo's actual birthday (September 6).
Michull and I just mooched off the amazing meal Dean prepared and pretended it was the 11th and 4th respectively.
He's so pretty.
Robin and Maggie workin' the same pose... The camera loves them.
Oh, hello Oktoberfest, welcome back.
Dean made "Clint Eastwoods" for dinner.
Cube steak, lots of black pepper, spicy cheese, jalapeños, barbecue sauce, tomato and sourdough toast. I might be forgetting (or adding) something in there, I can't remember.
In any case I accept whatever it was he fed me.
(note: use caution when eating - tendency to scowl and direct award-winning films may result from consuming this meal)
Now I'm a spice-wimp. While I have yet to have a drool-inducing, preemptive chapstick-application standoff with a spicy food (::cough:: Jared ::cough::), I do enjoy a little kick here and there. In this case however, the extra hot barbecue sauce was enough for me so Dean made me a "Lairen Portion" and nixed the jalapeños.
A good call because the other five were coming up just short of pouring ranch dressing directly onto their tongues in an effort to neutralize the heat.
I just took another swig of Sam Adams and called it a night.
Blog friends, meet Maggie. I don't think you've been properly introduced.
On an unrelated subject, Dean is - for the first time since I've known him - wearing black t-shirts and/or t-shirts with some sort of print on them.
It makes me feel unsafe.
For almost four years, all I've known of this kid is white t-shirts in the summer and flannel in the winter.
Dean, you are a hipster. We all love you no matter what, just as long as you accept yourself. Just know that we're all here for you in this new season of life.
Oh hey! Hi!
All hail the September babies. We do it up right.
Janet and Bill, Melinda and Joe, Mom and Dad... Thanks for having us.
Last week, in my delightfully vague way, I talked about the power of forgiveness. And how God called me out on some things.
This was what got that ball rolling.
Dominic is the newest pastor to join the team at Solid Rock and with his first sermon, he had my attention.
Rapt.
Sunday morning gave that word new definition in my book. If he had started the sermon with, "And Lauren? Yes, you there to the right - are you ready for this? You're gonna want to write this down." I don't think I would have been any more convicted than I was.
Anyway, I'm not posting this thinking everyone will spend the next thirty minutes watching it. I'm posting it for anyone who may need it though, the way I needed it. And so I never forget this lesson.
Week after week it has helped me slow down and think on the things that make my life what it is:
Amazing.
The people, the experiences, the foods, the drinks, the places, all of the little things and all of the big things - I can read back over the last year and know one thing for damn sure:
I am so blessed.
And though I have my usual list of all the things I'm grateful for from the past week, I can only think of one thing.
So today, I am thankful for this.
Thank you forgiveness.
The road is long, the road is hard, the road is messy, the road is painful - but that road leads to something infinitely greater.
Thank you for the freedom forgiving grants both sides of the equation. Thank you for the strength to keep forgiving over and over and over again - because Lord knows it's rarely a one time deal.
Thank you for twenty-six years of a life in which God shows me exactly how much He loves me, even when it's tough love.
