merry marchmas!

This may be the best (belated) Christmas card ever.

I don't know about you, but I totally dig late presents because it makes an otherwise dull Thursday a holiday. 

So with that, I would like to wish you all a very (and newly invented) Merry Marchmas! 

(now a day late, keeping with the theme of this post)

To kick off the festivities, I have to share the contents of the card above. Sean & Rose (Brigette's brother and sister-in-law) are some of my favorite people. And their cat Hobbes is superior to both you and me in every way - except for the fact that he nervously and inexplicably licks all the hair off his lower half, presumably because he's still reeling from that time someone ate the last of the hummus. 

Read on dear friends... You're in for a giggle. 

Oh, and you should know Sean calls me "Al". 
He can call me "Al".
I should call him "Betty".


Dearest Al, 

Of course Hobbes picked out the card, but we picked out the rest. Let's not get into picking out butts just because those words were used perhaps too often in the above unprepared sentence. 
Hey! Let's ham! Can ham be used as a verb? 
Instant coffee might not be the greatest but it's NOW! Instant = Now. It's now coffee. When's it gonna be ready, hun? Right f**king instantly NOW... but it's not that great. 
If one cannot ham, one could probably do "The Ham", most likely pertaining to some sort of perverse 1950's parlor dance. 
He who keeps his ass out of church will watch his wisdom grow and blossom like Pinocchio's nose on mushrooms. 
Which then brings us back to the Chinese and how much they are destroying today's civilization. Why can't they just look at the Polish, they're behaving! They are behaving just fine!
Hobbes tears through the apartment like the unholy, fire-breathing Queen of the Night. 
Any questions? What? Ahhhh... The middle section? Yes... The middle section was constructed out of fiberglass and was then painted by interns. 
We already know you are watching Downton, wonderful! The other thing yo must see is "Steven Fry In America", another streaming series on Netflix. 
And not to get back to the rhetoric, but... Let us not forget the words of the great Abe Lincoln when he asked this great nation, 
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could have a high-speed, gas-powered log splitter?" 
Support your local "be a beaver's big brother" bureau. 
And now the close of our broadcast - we that you, we this you, we might even miss you. 
Lots of love, Leroy, Esther, Cheerless the Cat, and the rest of the gang down at The Unfortunate Home for Wayward Ethnic Revolutionaries! 

Signed: Sean & Rose :)


  1. I'm so glad to hear that people send Christmas cards like these. It's a nice step away from the usual overly depressing Christmas 'letters' that a friend of mine gets over the holidays. No, I don't want to hear about how your shed burned down with your dog in it and now you have cancer. I mean...any other time of the year, let's chat. But Christmas?!?!? GAH.

  2. I love it. I'm on board. Merry Marchmas!

  3. yep, that's my brother.

    p.s. still batteling people to get your christmas present's top secret, may not be legal