Ladies & gentlemen, for your daily ego boost, I bring you
"The Idiot Call Of The Day"
Me: Hello, thank you for calling, how may I help you?
Darwin's Nightmare Of A Human Being: Yeah, hi, I just have a few questions about your 2010 Oregon Pinot Gris?
(yes, a question mark, her voice went up at the end)
Me: Sure, what can I help you with?
Darwin Girl: So first of all, what varietal is it?
Darwin Girl: .......
Me: It's pinot gris.
Darwin Girl: (with absolutely no sense of shame) OK great and where was that grown?
Darwin Girl: (presumably places the metal helmet back on the monkey she borrowed it from and flips the switch)
Darwin Girl: Awesome. And then what's the alcohol content on that?
Me: (smashes bottle of 2010 Oregon Pinot Gris against forehead) 13%.
Darwin Girl: .........
Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Darwin Girl: Nope, that was all I needed! Thank you!
Me: Sometimes I hate everyone.
*I didn't actually smash a bottle into my head - I just wish I had*