my name is hope

notice the awesome shots of Portland in this video - yeah, that's just one reason I love living here


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So you've heard me go on about John Mark before.

He's pretty cool.

Though I have yet to actually meet him face to face (that's what happens when your church is on the larger side sometimes - I need to work on that), his lessons have had a huge impact on my life the last nine months. Through his teachings (and His teachings, haha) I feel like my life is regaining that equilibrium, that balance I was having a hard time rediscovering on my own (which, as I've said, was weird for me because in the past when things have gotten rocky I've been able to reestablish things myself and with the help of the people around me alone - that in itself has always been, and continues to be, one of my greatest blessings in life - but this time I knew I needed that extra something).

Anyway, what I'm getting at is the fact that one of the reasons I think so much of what JM was saying was making so much sense to me, and helping me so much, is that he was speaking from experience (granted, a much more severe battle than my own, but when you're in even a shadow - let alone a deep, dark pit - things can seem just as ominous depending on where you're coming from). He was dealing with some wicked depression, I was dealing with wicked heartache and losing something I thought I could depend on 110%. Oomph. 

Still, my main issue has been worry. I am SO good at worrying, you have no idea! Hell, just look back over some of my ramblings the last few months - it's almost entertaining. Almost. But good ol' JM nailed me on that one - what good is that worry doing me? Umm... Oh, right, NOTHING. 

Hi, headcase, party of one.

I'm losing my point...

All these months later, I can feel my footing getting so much stronger and I am rediscovering reawakening the part of me I didn't quite realize was going to sleep. And even though I still slip a little once in a while (seriously, Robin and Dean, I promise I won't be falling apart in the recliner over a glass of wine anymore!) I am finally that disgustingly happy person again... 90% of the time anyway. 

Having said all that, I'm really excited to read this book. I appreciate where this guy is coming from and respect him a great deal. 

Now crikey, you know I'm not trying to "preach" at you (not my style). I just figure since I've gotten into the swing of being frank with this gaggle of fabulous bloggers, I'd keep it up (I almost just created the word "bladies" in an attempt to meld "blog ladies" but thought better of it because it ends up looking kinda dirty). Personally, I'm pretty jazzed at the ways God is getting my attention these days. And all I can say once again is that this is what works for me.

And you know what really rocks? All of the support and understanding from all of you as I babble on and on. Whether we have some of the same views on this stuff or not, the respect I've been shown as I openly dig deeper proves my point: it doesn't take religion, it doesn't take being a Christian or a Muslim or a Flower Zen Child or being completely agnostic. Believe what you will, but far too many people overlook the basic human need for LOVE. No one has to tell you that. That's a basic instinct. 

And if you have the ability to put that Love back out into the world? Well, you win.

We all win. 

Worry Has a Name from Mark Graybill on Vimeo.

(I'm just including this here at the end because I stumbled upon it and this was a sermon on Worry that totally resonated with me and basically slapped my upside the head when I needed it)