albino lasagna (take your lactaid now)

I'm pretty sure I mentioned making lasagna for The Camaraderie the other night. If I didn't... Well... I made lasagna the other night. And not to toot my own horn (though for the record, horn-tooting can be fun) but it was glorious. There were three jars of alfredo sauce, two pounds of bacon, a pound of ground turkey, three bags of shredded cheeses, ricotta cheese, cream cheese, sour-cream-and-spinach dip, mushrooms, more cheese, spinach and a disproportionate amount of minced garlic. 

This is by no means the be all, end all of lasagna cooking guides. It's actually my opinion that there are as many ways to make lasagna as there are tummies to fill. That being said, this is simply a (very rough) guide to one of my favorite meals to make and share.

And it had my friends eating themselves into oblivion which is the single best compliment I could ask for. 

Thanks for being my food test-audience guys! 

**DISCLAIMER: vegetarians, vegans, lactose-intolerants, gluten-frees, calorie-counters, carb-watchers, picky eaters and Emily Post fanatics... Just navigate away from this page now**

Start with your ingredients (I can highly recommend Trader Joe's for EVERYTHING)!

TJ's pan rusitco (I think that was the kind of bread?) makes GREAT garlic bread.

Smother anything in enough butter, garlic and parmesan cheese and you're going to be happy. 

Oh, this is essential to a well-made lasagna. 

I added Artichoke Antipasto to the alfredo sauce (smart idea, no?) - let it all simmer on low heat while everything else cooks.

Bacon: pound #1. I suggest baking your bacon (wow, that sounds dirty) on a cookie sheet for even, perfect cooking.

Chop your mushrooms as you see fit (this sounds dirty too).

Sauté with garlic, black pepper and some white wine (or beer) and add to sauce. 

Brown up the turkey and throw it on in there so it can cozy up to the mushrooms (FLAVOR!)

More garlic... Always more garlic... Just a good rule of thumb.

OK, when opening bag of spinach, do as I say not as I do (i.e. throwing it all over the kitchen) (no one is surprised by this).

Do this instead! Cook it down in some olive oil & minced garlic.

No, you're seeing it correctly: mix together the ricotta, cream cheese & sour cream-spinach dip.

Add the hot spinach-garlic goodness and mix well.

Bacon: pound #2. More bacon (also a good rule). This pound was labeled "Bacon Ends & Pieces"... For the record, bacon is the only circumstance where the phrase "ends & pieces" is acceptable in life. Just trust me on this one.

Self-explanatory. 

Look how happy everything looks swimming in alfredo! Is it wrong for this to be a fantasy of mine?

Time to build! Spoon out a layer of sauce. 

PREPARE THE CHEESE. 

Keep a Dani around to taste-test (crucial to the whole process)

Layer it up (note: I LOVE the TJ's no-bake lasagna noodles) with the ricotta/spinach mixture.

There is really no rhyme of reason to the layering method, just do what feels right (I do it differently every time). 

A bowl of cheese I could practically recline in - this is how you know you're living life right. 

More wine (actually the same glass as before, I'm not really that much of a lush). 

Bake at 350 or so until it looks like this.

Make sure Shamoo looks on approvingly. 

Happy plate. 

What happens when Dean says he doesn't even want to put hot sauce on it.

The true test of a good meal: if Jared ends up inverted, barely conscious and/or with his pant legs rolled up (he was wearing shorts though so we skipped that part).

(Sorry for the language... Inside joke)

Go forth and be gluttonous.