where there's smoke...

Good news! Everyone's favorite beef-jerky scented Indianian (and his party shorts) returned safe and sound from fire! Of course, as of this morning, he's back out again (Shadow Lake Fire in Sisters, Oregon, follow it here). Thank god he was home long enough for dinner and a few beers with friends at The Cheerful Tortoise.

a rare moment of dean not making robin dry-heave
dani trying to decipher what kind of situation she's gotten herself into
It was really great to see the kid again. Even after all that has happened between us, I will always be happy to see him. He remains (and I hope he always will) one of my best friends so whenever he comes home alive, I will properly rejoice. So will Shamoo...

They love each other... Can't fight city hall.

I admit though, it was strange to be around him again. In the last three months he and I had barely spent as many hours together. In the two and a half years we were together, we hardly went three weeks (and that was only because I was home in California trying not to die of mono). With him being gone for so long I have been able to start gluing the pieces of my life back together that broke apart back in April (and that I, at the very least, started putting back together in London). The physical distance was helping... Is helping. I still miss his goofy face all the time, but I can feel the shift in myself and feel that maybe we are approaching the relationship - the friendship - we need right now.

(I feel somewhat safe pouring this out to you all here because I don't think he's ever actually read my blog)

Anyway, my roundabout point here is that as happy as I was to see him for a bit last night, I'm really glad he's back out on fire again. For his sake and for mine. Two very different reasons, yes, but I think it's the best thing right now for both of us.
Shamoo sure is going to miss him though!


  1. oh Lauren! you're heart, it's beautiful. I truly appreciate your simple honesty.